should my husband help with chores while I work part-time?
Q: I have been a stay at home mom for several years and am now going back to work part time. Should my husband have to pick up some of the chores since I’m picking up outside work? How would I broach the subject? “What would Suzie Do?” – B
Dear B-
You go girl! The first thing I would do is congratulate myself on getting a job! It’s hard these days. Working part time is a great way to get out of the house and regain your sanity while still spending time with your kids. The extra money you make will give you two things: extra money to help with the bills, or my personal favorite, play money to do with whatever you want. Half the reason why I do Suztoys is to spend time with adults and discuss things other than Yo! Gabba Gabba while giving me money to blow on pilates and coffee.
The second thing I would do is brace myself for the conversation with your husband about chores. I am almost 99% sure this phrase will come up at some point in the discussion-”but you only work part time.”. When he works full time he is tired when he gets home and I’m sure the last thing he wants to do is help pick up the house however I strongly believe that he should most definitely help you with chores. Even if it is minimal chores like taking out the trash cans, filling the dishwasher, picking up his clothes that he always leaves on the floor, these little things make a big difference.
The thing you need to sweetly remind him is that you are not only working part time but you are actually working a full time and a part time job at the same time. People tend to forget that. I warn you though, that fact may not sink in. What I would do is tell him that when helps around the house it makes you happier and more relaxed to do other things *wink,wink* You would be AMAZED at how impactful only that suggestion can be. I wish you luck!
Susan considers herself to be an international woman of mystery. She was born in Melbourne, Australia where she lived an amazing life full of koalas, kangaroos and Crocodile Dundee wannabes. She graduated from The University of Melbourne with a degree in Fine Arts. One day she was bored with her everyday life and decided to start the first of her many adventures and move to Japan. Working as an English teacher for a multi-million dollar company, it was there that she discovered her love for a few things – traveling, writing and Americans. She started her first blog The Tatamimat in 2002 and that was the beginning of her love for all things online – and yes she considers herself to be a techno geek. She met her husband Jay and was married in Osaka. After living in Japan for almost 4 years she decided that she needed to catch up with speaking English and general popular culture and move to Los Angeles. Along the way she backpacked to over 25 countries. She has been to Mt, Everest, The Great Wall, the pyramids war ridden Kashmir, and traveled on the Trans-Siberian Express. She has had some wonderful and some very scary experiences but has always enjoyed meeting, photographing and questioning people all over the world.
Susan loves coffee, photography, blogging, traveling, meeting with friends, Tweeting and watching her beloved Dodgers. She has been writing since she was a teenager and it is her first love. She is proud to be working with Scene In SCV on the humorous blog of “What would Suzie do?” Send her your questions on any subject and she will give you advice in Suzie style. You can send your questions to: suztoys@partygals.biz
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E:suztoys@partygals.biz
I totally agree with you! It’s hard to grasp that it’s like working 2 jobs. The fact of the matter is, you are BOTH probably tired, but the chores still have to get done.
I’m sure I’m being a traitor to my gender just by saying this, but the dude should have been doing some of them in the first place. This ain’t the ’50s, and there’s no excuse for a man to not have a part in what goes on in the house, other than mowing the lawn on the weekends and maybe actually putting his shoes away when he gets home. I know what it’s like to get home and be drop-dead exhausted from work, but as part of a household it’s still my responsibility to do more than just contribute a paycheck. Now hopefully my wife won’t read this or she’ll want me to do even more!
Thank you Mike!!
I completely agree with Mike. Your husband should be doing his share of work around the house no matter what.
As a woman who has done it all: stay-at-home mom, working part-time out of the home, working full-time out of the home, I have come to strongly believe that the job of a stay-at-home mom is to raise children, not clean a house. She is a caretaker, and not a maid. If she has time to get some of the household stuff done as well then great, she should do that, but it should never be her sole responsibility. Taking care of household chores is the responsibility of every member of the household, not just the one who spends the most time in the house.